jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
