I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
