that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
