weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
