Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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