I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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