It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
