mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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