Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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