i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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