just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize