Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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