I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Boobs are out for the taking
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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