In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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