Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize