allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
