that's an acceptable place to lick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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