i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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