we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
