My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
