I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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