hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
