This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
