Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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