Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
