you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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