Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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