Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
