The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
