I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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