no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
