Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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