sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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