I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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