ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
