You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
