dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize