When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize