You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
