so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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