another moral hangover. fuck.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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