i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
