I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
