if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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