garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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