Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
