He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize