For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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