kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
