I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
