we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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