Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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