i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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