Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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