Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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