You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
