I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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