you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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