i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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