I love black thongs
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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