so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
